In The Night
by H0neyAnge1
Summary: Season 1, introspective of Dean. Mostly about Sam and Dean's fear of being alone.


**In The Night**

**By: Andrea**

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own anything to do with Supernatural. However, I would be willing to take Dean._

_Setting: sometime in Season 1, I would say beginning to middle. Not really sure._

_AN: This is my frist story for this fandom, I appreciate any feedback. Thanks!_

The night was thick, cut only by the headlights of the Impala as it sped down the deserted road. The silence in the car was deafening. Sam sat in the passenger seat, his whole body clinched in anger. Dean drove with determination, choosing to ignore his brothers quiet rage. Sam wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer and Dean was determined to put of the coming argument as long as possible.

He had his own thoughts and feeling to work through. Even though Sam didn't appear to think so. Dean tried to suppress the familiar mix of anger, sadness, hurt, and acceptance. Sam always had a habit of saying what he wanted without thought to others. Sure, he would think and apologize later, but the outcome was the same. It was always about Sam and what Sam wanted.

"I don't want to hunt."

"I want to go to school."

"I'm tired of Dad's rules."

"I don't have to do what you tell me."

What about Dean? And what Dean wanted?

"I love hunting."

"I love you, Sammy."

"People need us."

"Yes, sir."

"I want us to be a family again."

Sam never cared what Dean wanted. Dean was only in his way. Dad was only in his way. And Sam had already proven that he could live without them. Have a life like he always dreamed. A life where Dean and their father didn't fit. Weren't welcome.

Dad had thrown Sam out, but Sam had thrown them out as well. Out of his life, his future. Dean had tried to call his little brother after he had left for Stanford. He never received an answer. After a year, he stopped calling.

When Dad had gone missing, Dean had been concerned. He knew Dad could take care of himself, but he also knew the reality of their jobs. After receiving Dad's garbled message, Dean had gotten in his beloved car ready to ride to the rescue on his own.

However, once he crossed the California State line his instinct took over and he found himself at Stanford, stopped in from of Sam's apartment. He knew the way. Had been there before. Uninvited. In the shadows. Never seen. This time was different.

Dean sat in the car a full five minutes before he actually got out. Sam didn't care about them. Wanted nothing to do with them. Had made himself very clear. So why did he come here?

But deep down Dean knew. He came for his little brother because he needed him. Not to help him find Dad. Dean was capable of doing that on his own. No, he needed his brother because he was family. Needed someone.

Dad had disappeared and Dean was alone. Sam had gone to college and Dad had vanished and Dean was all by himself. Dean hated being alone. His mom had left him alone. His brother had left him alone. And now his father had left him alone. His greatest fear had become a reality. A reality he couldn't face.

Instead he ran to his baby brother, pleading for help. Asking for help to find their father. Wanting to yell, "Don't make me do this alone." Never alone, the little boy in him cried. The child that Dean hadn't been allowed to be since the age of four. The child that had his whole world collapse in a single night.

Sam had agreed. Dean had hid his surprise and happiness well, but his body had instantly relaxed. He wasn't alone.

Disappointment had followed. Dad hadn't been in Jericho. Dad had a new mission. One he needed to do alone. There was that word again.

And Sam had wanted to go home. Dean would be alone again. He had dropped Sam off, but when he tried to leave, the fear had taken hold again and Dean had found himself back in front of Sam's apartment. Then he saw the fire.

Dean would always regret Jess' death. Wonder if it really was his fault. Mourn for the life his brother could have had with her. The life Sam so desperately wanted. But a part of Dean was also selfish. He knew that Sam was only with him to avenge Jess' death. Knew that if Jess were still alive Dean would have been alone in the long search for their Dad. And while Dean would never be able to say he was glad about Jess' death, he was grateful for Sam and his presence.

Even when he was a whining, ungrateful brat. Like now. Sitting in the seat next to him, eyes fixed on the road, jaw clinched, hands made into fist. Even now Dean was happy to have Sam with him. He knew it wouldn't last. Knew Sam planned to leave once the demon was dead. Go back to his 'normal' life. But Dean didn't want to think about that right now. Right now Sammy was with him and he wasn't alone.

Dean reached for the radio knob, turning the volume up on his favorite Metallica cassette. Sam clinched his jaw even tighter and Dean smiled as the Impala continued its journey through the night.

The End


End file.
